Welcome to Paradise
by Stubbi the Humble Chimneysweep
Summary: A NarutoXRamen fic. Very nonsensely funny.


Welcome To Paradise

by uchihachik

Yes, here it is, my NarutoXRamen fic! Mwa ha ha ha!

Pairings: NarutoXRamen (and a little SasuNaru)

Disclaimer: Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I don't own Naruto,

So don't sue.

Once upon a time, Naruto was skipping happily to his favourite place ever, the Ichiraku! When he got there, he took his usual seat and slammed his fist down on the table to catch the cook's attention. "Miso." he ordered. The cook nodded. After sitting impatiently for five minutes before being served, wolfing it down as fast as humanly possible, and asking for another one. After three more bowls, he sighed with contentment.

"Hey Naruto." an anonomous blonde girl sat down beside him. "I've got something for you."

"I already have everything I need...ramen." he said peacefully.

"Naruto? It's me, Shawna...Earth to Naruto..." she said, waving a hand in front of his face. (If you don't know who she is, read _20 Letters of Pain_, or _Holiday_.)

"I'm sorry Shawna, but I'm in love with ramen. Our love must be unrelingquited." (sp?)

"Naruto," she sighed. "here's my ultimate gift to you!" she said, pulling out a battered sheet of paper. It was a map. "There's this island, it's just off the east coast of Japan, and it's called Ramen Island. Everything on it is made out of ramen." she explained.

Naruto's eyes widened. "Really?"

"Yes. I'm letting you have the map. Let's go!" she replied.

"But I wanna be alone with my beloved ramen!" he whined, standing up to add drama.

She stood up too. "Bastard." she muttered, and kicked him in the groin, then she ran off to go hit on Kiba.

Naruto then studied the so-called 'map' to find that it was actually a short poem.

Naruto read the poem out loud.

"_Ramen is good._

_Ramen is awesome._

_Ramen is flavourful._

_Ramen is noodles._

_I like ramen._

_You should like ramen_." he read. (A/N: Can you believe that I actually wrote that for my poetry unit at school? Amazing, eh?)

As soon as he said the last line, there was a pop and a farmiliar-looking, tutu-wearing, dark-haired teen appeared.

"Hey I'm the Ramen Fairy what do you want?" he growled.

"Sasuke!" Naruto exclaimed. Naruto would later have to use this for blackmail purposes. Sasuke suddenly appeared, wearing a golden tiara, pink tutu, pink spandex pants, pink leprechaun shoes, carrying a little fairy wand. Heh..heh..heh.. Naruto quickly pulled out a camera and snapped a picture before Sasuke hid behind him. (OOCness! YAY!) Sasuke dragged Naruto to a less-populated place.

"Now, why did you summon the almighty power of the Ramen Fairy?" Sasuke muttered, clutching his forehead like he had a killer hangover."Did you wanna go to Ramen Island?"

"Yes." Naruto replied, grinning as they walked into his house and he scanned the picture onto the computer and posted it all over the internet.

Sasuke paused as he remembered (with horror) the procedure of using his fairy magic..."Oh, god...If only I could remember the dance..." he muttered under his breath. Unfortunately for him, Naruto had heard this, and got a video camera, poised and ready.

He sighed. He had to do this or else he wouldn't get paid...

The way it worked, there were three **WHOLE ** songs he had to dance to."Thriller", "YMCA", and he had to sing the cheeseburger song...Okay, so that's two songs he had to dance to, and one he had to sing, but he just got confused because of how scary they all are. But, Sasuke wanted to get paid, and, oh, how he wanted it badly...(A/N:Okay, that just sounded wrong...)

He began to dance in a Micheal Jackson-ish way, and then broke into the YMCA dance moves, then broke into song. Curse you, Veggie Tales!

"_He said to her,"I'd like a cheeseburger.And I might like a milkshake as well."_

_She said to him,"I can't give you either."_

_He questioned her,"Is this Burger Bell?"_

_she said"Yes it is,but we're closed now,_

_we'll be open tomorrow at 10."_

_Cheesebuger,please do not get angry,I can wait until then._

_Cuz you're his cheesebuger,Oh mighty cheesebuger_

_He'll wait for you-ou_

_he'll wait for you-ou oh,_

_You are his cheesebuger,oh mighty cheesebuger_

_he'll wait for you-ou_

_oh,he'll be after you..._

_He sat at the drive-thru till sunrise._

_He might have dozed of once or twice_

_Then he spotted a billboard for Dennys'_

_Bacon and eggs for half price._

_How could he resist such an offer?_

_He really needed something to munch._

_Oh, cheeseburger please do not get angry._

_I'll be right back here for lunch._

_Cuz you're his cheesebuger,Oh mighty cheesebuger_

_He'll wait for you-ou_

_he'll wait for you-ou oh,_

_You are his cheesebuger,oh mighty cheesebuger_

_he'll wait for you-ou_

_oh,he'll be after you_

_cause he loves his cheeseburger with all his heart_

_and there ain't nothin' that could tear those two-oo apart._

_when he gets down on his hands and knees_

_to pick up all that dirty cheese_

_oh he'll be lookin' out for you_

_lookin' out for you_

_pickin' up the dirty cheese just for you_

_cause your his chees-bur-geeeeerrrrr."_Unfortunately, Sasuke had fun singing it, and Naruto taped it, too.

Next came the really scary part. He had to link hands with Naruto...

"Give me your hand." Sasuke ordered, holding out his hand to Naruto. Naruto did. Man, if someone had've walked by just then, that would have some pretty strange ideas...(LOL)

"Now, do as I say and repeat after me. "Bite my lip and close my eyes, Take me away to Paradise."." Sasuke ordered. Naruto repeated. "Now bite you lip and close your eyes." Sasuke ordered. Naruto did.

(A/N: Now, this phrase may ring a bell to some people. That's because that, I, uchihachik am a die-hard, Green Day obsessive fan. This quote is from a song called 'Longview'. Download it, it's good!)

There was a flash and the two ninjas disappeared. They reappeared on an island. And, as Shawna had said, it WAS ALL made of ramen. It was AMAZING! And uchihachik likes to CAPITALIZE stuff! Naruto raced off and began an eating FRENZY. See? Told you.

Sasuke sighed and poofed back to his house, stripping off his clothes (uchihachik and all other Sasuke fangirlsAnd Oro:O.Odrools)and changing into something more comfortable, he turned on his computer and logged onto his e-mail name, noticing several e-mails sent to him from Naruto with an attachment called 'Blackmail', and a couple from Orochimaru, claiming that he had scattered these 'Blackmail' pictures all over his room, had set it as his background on his computer, and printed out one that he kept directly beside his bed. Naruto also sent one that told every girl Konoha Sasuke's e-mail, and had the picture attached to it.

2 minutes later, Naruto had eaten everything on the island and had married a bowl of Miso ramen.

Then he ate her.

THE END

Like? Don't like? R and R! Everything is welcome, even..DUN DUN DUN flames. Please review!


End file.
